HomeLatest NewsWokesters Change the Name of Quidditch

Wokesters Change the Name of Quidditch

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My life has been a mix of an Episcopalian, an evangelical, and even a Buddhist. None of these things are true for me now. I did eventually return to Christianity, but that is another story.

My fascination with Buddhism stemmed in part from its exotic nature and cool chants. However, it was also a result of Joseph Campbell’s “The Power of Myth” fame. Campbell was raised Roman Catholic, and he drifted towards Buddhism at the end of his days. Campbell did great work in the area of mythology, ritual and despite his growing antipathy towards Christianity. Campbell was required to read libs in the 1990s, under the motto “Follow Your bliss!”

However, throughout my spiritual journey, my passion for fantasy has been strong. I often traveled with Sam and Frodo from Mordor during lonely times in my youth. Every autumn, I make it a point to read The Lord of the Rings. It was not surprising that my mother sent me Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone back in those days. It was a book I devoured and it hooked me, as well as millions of others around the globe. It wasn’t to the point where I went to the theme park or tried to figure out which house I was living in. I enjoyed the stories and just enjoyed reading them. * These stories featured the archetypes of good versus evil and friendship as well as sacrifice. They were also fun.

I am now able to share my latest example of humanity becoming an indistinguishable substance in a Tupperware container that is at the back of God’s fridge.

Quidditch is a game played by wizards or witches within the universe of the series. There are now many leagues around the world. Fox News reports that the International Quidditch Association (also known as Major League Quidditch) and the US Quidditch have dropped the term “quidditch”. The sport is now called quadball.

Quadball. The name itself sounds almost pathetic. Is there anything the woke generation can touch to save all living creatures, large and small? Quadball is a game that everyone wants to play. This sounds like something elementary school gym teachers create to keep their little students busy and allow them to sneak out for a smoke. Hey, kids! Quadball is for you! Anyone? Anyone? Talk amongst yourself.

The reason the leagues made the switch was to get rid of Warner Brothers’ copyright encumbrances. That’s fair enough. It seems that all terms in the game aren’t copyrighted. Yes, I will wait while you check.

We all know what the true motivation behind rebranding is. J.K. Rowling, the author, committed the ultimate sin of not being awake enough to speak up for biological women. Rowling explicitly stated that she believes that people can call themselves what they like and that consenting adult has the right to do whatever they wish. This was, however, not enough. It is not. It doesn’t matter that these people can identify as a woman, a man, or a Unitarian porcupine at any given time. They didn’t get the results they desired, when and how they wanted them. It doesn’t matter if the creator of Quidditch is paying, they have to pay. For a laugh, click the Fox News link and you’ll see photos of adults who appear to be suffering from both arrested maturation (broomstick envy) and misdirected maturation.

Imagine how dull, boring, and depressing it would be if Rowling tried to write these books today. Wiccans and witches would be called “persons of magical” because they would require the entire set of xi to identify themselves that day. Professor Lupin would need to change his pronouns from wolf self to wolf each full moon. Hagrid would need to be “furry.” A sorting hat would be the sorting beanie. Voldemort would have murdered them all during a Great Hall struggle session. Although not everyone could have been such things, if the novels were written today, they would certainly have had to be those things. The rest of the mob and the quidditch separatists would not have settled for anything else.

Healthcare professionals have confirmed to me that biological sex is an important factor in calculating cardiac risk. This is biology. This is the reality. You can copy, cut, and paste any parts you want. You can dye your hair green, wear a gown, take hormones, and march until your legs give out. You are the same person you were at birth. Nothing can change that. You are what you are, regardless of how many Xs there may be. You can call yourself a woman, a man, or a banana. You can even put your feet in a bucket and declare yourself a geranium. Then wait for the water to come. If that’s you, then you can bloom wherever you are planted. Serious people have real concerns right now. However, that doesn’t change who one is. Rowling may have meant it. It has nothing to do with Harry Potter.

Rowling doesn’t need me to defend her; she has the money to do what she wants. That’s all well and good, but it’s worth noting that Rowling’s opinions were so offensive that they changed an important part of the story to fit their own needs. These narcissists have abandoned one of the main themes of the series, selfless sacrifice. Their egos are all that matters. These people will not accept any sacrifices except their own. Let Harry, Hermione, and Ron be the people they are. Let quidditch be quidditch. Fiction is a way to forget what a litterbox this world has become. You don’t have to bring the litter in with you.

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