88-Year-Old Man Has WWI Cannon Shell Removed From His Rectum

A Frenchman aged 88 walked into a hospital carrying a WWI artillery round in his keister. The unfired round measures eight inches in length and more than two by two inches in width.

A doctor in an emergency room once said that a man brought a can of AquaNet hair spray into the hospital. His tailpipe bulged from his lower abdomen. The doctor could hear the hairspray being released when she pressed the protuberance.

A portion of the hospital had to be evacuated in the event that the man’s buttocks burst. However, bomb disposal experts arrived on the scene and determined that the shell was not likely to explode.

The elderly man was incised by doctors. The doctor removed the piece of collector’s artifact from the man’s back door.

Dirty Bomb

So this guy must be the only man to squeeze an artillery round up his arse, right? Nope.

A British man came to a hospital with a not-as-old but still impressive WWII shell in his caboose just over one year ago. The man claimed he “fell” on the upright projectile as he was “tidying up” his home.

Another ER doctor told me that men often come to the hospital with foreign objects in their pockets. Most claim it was an accident. One example: A man brought in a Power Ranger action figurine in his prison wallet. He claimed that his nephew had left it there and that he fell on it while getting out of the shower.

While most men will claim that the (insert strange object) lodged in their derriere was an accident, French doctors believe the 88-year-old inserted the explosive to get sexual kicks. They have also seen many silly objects lodged in a lot of men’s backsides.

“An apple, a mango, or even a can of shaving foam, we are used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn’t be,” a doctor stated. “But a shell? Never!”

According to some, the elderly thrill-seeker is doing well and recuperating.