Surprise in D.C.: Nikki Haley Secures First Republican Primary Victory, Thanks to Democrats

Nikki Haley won her first-ever primary by winning six out of ten Democratic votes cast in the Washington, D.C., Republican Primary on Sunday. A further 30% of the swamp also voted to send Donald Trump to prison.

Haley was positively giddy at her victory in a city where conservatives have been imprisoned and spied upon.

Officially, former President Trump and the former UN ambassador won 62.2% of the votes, while the former South Carolina Governor won 33.2%. She won by a margin that gave her 19 swamp delegates from the FBI, CIA, and DOJ. The D.C. voters (including one official who didn’t realize she couldn’t cast her vote twice, once in Maryland and then again in the District) voted for Basement Joe Biden in the last election.

Haley’s last sighting was her doing a victory round around Meet the Press host Kristen Welker and squealing with delight that she lied about signing a pledge of support for the GOP presidential nominee who would be Donald Trump.

Nikki Haley kept her word when she signed the election contract.

Haley’s win was summed up by an MSNBC wag.

Tara Setmayer said, “It’s not important.” It may be remembered as one of only a few times when an MSDNC analyst has been accurate.

Haley’s spokesperson said that the vote showed “Republicans who are closest to Washington dysfunction reject Donald Trump and his chaos”.

Haley’s supporters include a major Democrat donor, those suing Trump for creating chaos and the remnants of the Lincoln Project.

Haley now has 45 delegates after her win on Sunday. This is just a few days before Super Tuesday this week. Donald Trump, “chaos agent”, spent the weekend winning Michigan, Missouri, and Idaho caucuses. This put his primary tally to 244 delegates.

Donald Trump Jr. said on X that Haley’s victory was one of the ages.

Haley is the first woman in U.S. presidential history to win a Republican primary. Her fans will probably ignore this fact.