House Approves Spending Package to Avert Government Shutdown, Includes $13 Billion in Earmarks

Thank God. The House of Representatives approved a spending package Wednesday to keep the government running. Americans don’t care about anything except for government employees, people from WaPo and CNN and MSNBC, and the guy who sits in his mom’s basement and spends all day reading comment sections, can kick rocks. The only difference between a non-functioning American Government and a functioning American Government is that the former costs less, while the latter’s ability to harm taxpayers has been somewhat reduced. Imagine being hit with a whiffle instead of a Louisville Slugger.

The Gods of Chaos wanted to ensure that the Hallowed Halls of Dysfunction remained open and the Great American Money Pit continued its business. You can also thank the House GOP. The Republicans are in control of the House and therefore they have to take the brunt of the RINOs. Porkulous 2.0 was born. Maybe 12.0 now. Who’s counting? Have you seen the national deficit? Literally, who is counting? Anyone?  Bueller?

Thanks, Republicans! We hate it!

Just the News reported that Grandson Of Porkulous contains 1,050 pages, and along with the 13 billion dollars in earmarks, six appropriation measures.

Monopoly cash is not used anymore? Someone at the Department of the Treasury has been drawing dollar signs onto Post-Its and hoping that no one will notice. Republican Congressman Thomas Massie referred to Senator Lindsey Graham in his post on X:

Senator Rick Scott:

Rand Paul displayed restraint by calling the situation “disappointing”:

Senator Mike Lee has commented on several issues, including wasteful spending:

He said, “Earmarks is the corrupt currency of Congress.” “No self-respecting Republican would touch them.”

One bright spot was Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman. He requested $1 million for an LGBTQ center in Philadelphia. After learning that the center had a room where people could try out sexual fetishes, he asked to withdraw the request. Score one for conservatives. John Fetterman himself.

The grandson of Porkulous is now moving to the Senate.